Going through the fire

Hey all,

I know it's been a while since I've posted any blogs.  I kinda lost interest, and really didn't have feel I had much to say.   Recently, though that has changed.  I have been through a rough time these past few months and I want to share my experience with you, so that you can be encouraged and know that you will make it through.

Earlier this year I made some simple changes that first didn't seem like it had much affect until I went on annual fast at my church. (At church we do a fast where we don't eat meat, sweets or drink alcohol, for those who may have an occasional glass of wine, for 3 weeks.) It was during this time that I was severely attacked in my mind.  I kept hearing voices in my head, I had all kind of horrible thoughts at one point I would wake up in the morning with voices screaming and shouting at me. I thought I was going crazy.
The enemy was attacking my mind full force and I was fighting each and everyday with the Word of God and  confessing His word. No one really knew what was really going on. My therapist knew a little bit about what was happening but not to the full extent.  I felt depressed, sad, and wondered why I was going through what I was going through. This went on for almost four weeks. During this time I was reading my Bible and spending time in the Lord.  I spent time everyday up until the last few days of the fast, because I had grown soo weary and tired emotionally and mentally.    It was during this time that I really wanted to die and just give up.  I felt alone, abandoned, sad, frustrated, aggravated ect...

I thought about would happen if I just took myself out of my misery and just quit. This would enter mind every so often.  Fortunately, I didn't attempt to take myself out or give up, in addition one Sunday at church as my pastor was teaching the Word of God, he got a word from the Lord that described what had been going through, as far as the enemy screaming and yelling and there was a spirit of suicide.  By this time I was weeping, tears just streaming down my face. My pastor then said if that's you then come to the alter I want to pray for you.  With tears streaming down my face, my eyes burning because of my tears I went to the alter    and God delivered me and set me free. My pastor walked towards me and hugged me and the healing really began as I felt the love and power of God pour into me.  (I wasn't the only that came to the alter, there were other people as well.)  I was then surrounded by 3-4 women praying and interceding for me as well the congregation.   I thank God for setting me free and saving my life. I am truly grateful.

I still have some days where I get crazy thoughts and hear voices but I am a lot stronger now and know what to do. I also am reading and studying a book by Joyce Meyer called "Battlefield of the Mind"  I would highly recommend this book. It's really blessed me and is helping me understand how the enemy attacks our minds.
By the way in case you're wondering, my therapist does know what's going on and she is the one that encouraged to get the book Battlefield of the Mind.

I would encourage anyone reading this blog who is going through what I went through to cry to God and ask Him to help you.  God loves you and cares about you. He sees what you're going through and He is right there with you. It's okay to cry out to Him. Also talk to a friend or family member who really knows how to pray if you feel you can't pray yourself.  You can also call TBN's prayer line if you don't know anyone at 1-888-731-1000.  Or another ministry that has a 24hr prayer line.I would also encourage you to seek a councilor/therapist whom you can talk to and feel comfortable sharing with. There is nothing wrong with talking to a professional.  Also read Joyce Meyer's book Battlefield of the Mind it will help you.
You can get through this. You serve a great BIG God.





Verses to focus on:
Greater is He that is you the he that's in the world. 1 John 4:4b

You can do all things through Christ who gives you the strength. Philippians 4:13

God did not give your the spirit of fear, but power love and a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7

Lord will renew your strength. They will soar like eagles, they will run and grow weary, they will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31




If you don't know the Lord and have never accepted Him, you can.

For the Bible says: If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 9:10


Just say this prayer: 

Dear Lord, 
  Jesus, I ask that you come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. I believe you are the Son of God. I ask that you forgive me of all my sins, wash me and make my clean. Fill me with your Spirit. Help me and show how to live a life that's pleasing to you.  I thank you for saving me. In Jesus Name Amen

If you said that prayer and believed it you are born again.