Kick in the butt

Today was one of those days that I needed a wake up call and in some ways needed a swift kick in the butt, kinda like the way plunger does to the medal ball in a pinball machine.  My mom through her words gave me the boot and umph that I needed to get some things done that I had been ignoring or putting off and saying to myself “Oh, I know this needs to be done….I’ll do it later” and just making up in my mind that I need to do it. I did get a few things done such as straightened up my desk area which has been a disorganized mess for quite some time. So I got started with that and worked on straightening up a part of desk and in the process cleaned out my desk drawer that also had gotten cluttered and rather messy. I still have a bit more organizing and sorting to do but I have made some headway.  Before I go on I do want to make one thing clear, I didn’t do this necessarily because my mom brought it to my attention that I need to keep my room as well the common areas clean. I did it for myself, for me. I realized that I need to be the adult woman that I am get do the things that I need to do.  In addition I need to stop using the excuse of “Well why should I do everything or why do I have to do everything when my father”, who I live,  “doesn’t do anything?!”  But I thought about that and knew that was a load of crap.  I reminded myself that it doesn’t matter whether my father does keep the house clean or not that’s not problem or issue that’s on him.  I need to focus and stay in my own lane and pay attention to the things that I need to do and want to accomplish in my life.  If I continue to focus on my father and what he does or doesn’t do it’s going to keep going around and round in circles. In the end I will have accomplished a whole lot of nothing!  So I’m going to take it one day at a time and work on doing the things that I need to do.  I have unfortunately missed out on a whole of things and opportunities the past several years and I am not proud of it, in fact I find it quite depressing, discouraging and embarrassing. But I can’t go back in time and change it all I can do is move forward. 

Saying Yes or No to the future

The last few months or so have been quite interesting for me. I'm on a journey or I should say beginning the journey of saying "yes" to the future and what God has for me instead of saying "no" to the future and all that God has for me.  The decision for me to say yes hasn't been an easy one. For very and I do mean very long time I have been saying a loud resound "NO!" Reason being I was making excuses such as I can't...It's too hard, I don't think I can do it, Why should I? It's probably not even worth it.

 I had all of these excuses in my head and allowed fear to take over be in the driver's seat.  Up to this point it hasn't gotten me any where except having me go around and around and round the merry go round.  It hasn't has been fun. I have missed out on a lot of good things and wasted a lot of time.  I wish I could go back and re do these last several years but I can't I can only move forward and decide not to waste anymore time.  In the process of me saying "No!" all the time to my future I have have frustrated, saddened and probably even hurt people who were only trying to help me and wanted the best for me. People who saw things in me that I couldn't see in myself  or probably refused to see in myself.  When you continue to say "No" it not only affects you, which ultimately it does, but it also affects the people around you. People who care and want to see you succeed and be all that you can be. It's frustrating for them to see someone they care about not care about themselves.  Sadly after a period of time people will begin to leave you alone and not say anything anymore because they are tired, frustrated and there is nothing else for them to say.   Saying "No"to your future and to the people that want to help you and see succeed can cost you a pretty penny; in the end it's not worth it at all.  This something I've had to learn in someways the hard way and I'm not proud of.  However I do know that I can still make things happen for myself and still be all that I can be because I know that God is with me and with His help I can succeed and be a blessing to not only those around me but also to those whom I'm destined to bless and help. 

With that begins my new journey of stepping out onto the path that will begin my journey. I realize that I have a lot to say, hence this blog I'm writing, and I need to get it out so I can help, encourage, inspire and possibly motivate others with my story and experiences.  I am willing to say "Yes!" to my future Yes, to my gifts, talents and abilities that God has given me. Yes, to my part in making someone's day, changing someone's life and leaving a positive impact in the world.  I don't want to end up standing before God having to explain to Him why I didn't use my gifts, talents and abilities to help make a positive impact in this world.
That would be horrible and I'd feel ashamed, saddened, embarrassed and regretful. I would have NO excuse or reason.   So I want to get on out there and be inspiring and encouraging so when I do stand before God I will feel proud, accomplished and elated that I put a smile on His face and that He's proud of me.

I encourage you all to take a serious and honest look at yourself and ask yourself the same question I did. Are you saying yes or no to your future? Are you making decisions that will benefit you in the long run or are just benefiting you now?   Are you frustrating the people who care about you or are you inspiring them? Are you growing and maturing or are you being stagnate?  These are just a few questions that you should ask yourself from time to time.  I hope you will be honest with yourself and be real, because what you decide and do today will affect your tomorrow.  It's up to you to decide. 

As time goes on and as I continue my journey I will share more and more because I want to inspire and encourage you. Also please feel free to leave a comment as well. :-)

Getting put into shape

Sometimes in life we go through times were we think we're doing okay and find out that we aren't and it can be a real shock at times and other times it can get us to be determined to get back on track and be more aware of the signs when we're starting to drift.  Other times we go through life and need to get wake up call to get us to realize that we need to get together and stop being stubborn and hard headed it about it, because that only delays us and prolongs the process.  Today was one of those days for me, for where God really got a hold of my attention and showed me that I need to stop being stubborn and yes, defiant about what He's put on this earth to do. 

For the past few years I've allowed fear, what people may think, my size, to keep me from doing what I know God wants me to do. In-spite of it all I knew that I had the ability to do something about it but I refused to because I didn't want to, was too afraid, and was judgmental, meaning telling myself "I can't do that!!",  "That's impossible!" "That's stupid!" I came up with a 1,001 and more excuses and reasons why.  However, as I said earlier God got a hold my attention and basically He told me to stop complaining and to trust Him and to stop being stubborn and defiant, because He knows I want to change and do the things that He has planned for me to do.    It's amazing how God knows how to be real with us and get a hold of our attention and get us to wake up and snap out of it when we go into our own little world. 

Today's word from God was a hard one I must admit and it did hurt, there tears that were shed, but I know that God isn't mad at me and that He loves me and wants the best for me and I thank Him for it because it will make me better, He wants to mold me into the woman that He wants me to be.  After today I am determined to get back on track and allow myself to get on out there and do what I need to do with God's help.



There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. Philippians 1:6